


how to tell others theyre okay without ever being okay yourself

by cowbrain



Category: South Park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 05:33:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2337014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowbrain/pseuds/cowbrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>vent</p>
            </blockquote>





	how to tell others theyre okay without ever being okay yourself

Taylor let out a small groan, his fingers knotting themselves deeper in his hair. He trembled, tugging at his rosen locks. A small squeal escaped him as he inhaled sharply, taking in the scent of lavender that clung to his sheets. Tears absorbed into the fabric, falling from flushed cheeks.  
 _No comfort. No comfort. No crying. Don't do that._  
His mind chanted, but even inside the kids head it sounded distant, like it was being sieved through a mesh filter and echoed through the Grand Canyon before it reached his ears. His head spun and he squeezed his eyes shut tight, letting out an almost inhuman sound as he exhaled.  
 _Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Don't cry._  
The door to his bedroom opened quietly and soft footfalls cascaded upon the carpeting of his floor, creeping closer to him. If he could hear them, he would've reacted, spazzed, screamed. He was weak, his only defense was his voice.  
 _Never cry. Never cry._  
A hand fell upon Taylor's shoulder, weight fell on the edge of his bed. He froze, his own panicked breathing the only sound he could hear. He inhaled and exhaled rapidly, pulling harder at his hair, shaking.  
He was picked up, held close. Soft hums vibrated the chest his cheek was pressed against, small hands smoothed his hair and ran small circles on his back. He let out a choked sob, frantically wiping away the tears on his face to no avail. He brought in a gasping breath, choking on the air in his room. He couldn't breathe, his breaths never reaching deep enough. His eyes popped open and fell on his mother's round face.  
" Oh, honey.."  
Her mouths moved but no sound reached Taylor's ears. He pried his hands from his hair, moving to look down at them, at how bad they were shaking. He closed his eyes again, choking, gasping, wheezing.  
His mother gently wiped away his tears with her thumbs, cupping his face in her hands. She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before pressing hers against it. She closed her eyes, thinking, mulling over how to help her son. She held him there for seconds, minutes, hours, eternity. It all ran together to Taylor and he hadn't known how much time had passed before she spoke.  
" Baby, don't fight it. It's okay to cry."  
The words unlocked the floodgates and Taylor let out another sob, burying his face deep into the fabric of his mother's sweater, his body doing its best to drench the poor woman. She wrapped her arms around her son and held him close, covering the top of his head in tiny kisses.  
" Taylor, don't you ever, ever believe him. You're allowed to cry. You're strong. You're strong because you cry."  
She pulled his chin up, making him meet her gaze. She kissed the tip of his nose, wiping at it with the sleeve of her sweater. She coddled him, knowing just when to kiss and where, soothing her panicked child.  
" Cry Taylor. Cry your heart out, but please, _please_ promise me you will _never_ cry because you pity yourself. Be strong. You aren't alone. You will never be alone."  
Taylor placed his hands over his mothers, squeezing them. His mother squeezed back.  
" Even when I'm gone, I'll still be with you. Remember that. I'm always with you, no matter what."  
She blinked back her own tears. It pained her seeing her child in agony like this. It always did.  
" Let's go watch a movie. You don't have to go to school tomorrow, okay? Want to call Gabriel in the morning and ask if he wants to skip out of school with you?"  
Taylor nodded, clinging to his mother's touch, sniffling. His mother smiled, hugging him tightly.  
" Everything will be alright, kiddo."


End file.
